


Mishka

by thesardine



Series: Alphabet Extras [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Animals, explicit references to animal abuse, explicit references to psychological torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 06:42:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5617252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesardine/pseuds/thesardine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky was in the hole he was given a small cat and her name was Mishka.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mishka

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the tags; this is _not_ a nice fic. At all.
> 
> For the [angst meme](http://yeahcoolduck.tumblr.com/post/136185306181/here-is-a-game) prompt from [falcon-fox-and-coyote](http://falcon-fox-and-coyote.tumblr.com/): _Bucky loves ducks._

When Bucky was in the hole he was given a small cat and her name was Mishka, which meant "little bear." She was his friend. They were alone together in the dark and she would let Bucky pet her soft fur with his hand. Sometimes she cried from being in the dark for so long, but sometimes too she would come near Bucky even though he was dirty and she would purr, and he could hear her purr and feel it against his chest and she was warm and nice. One day they came and took Bucky out of the hole and they took Mishka out of the hole and he saw that she was grey with green eyes. She was a little cat. He loved her.

Bucky had to go to a different place from Mishka and he had to do a test. He had to determine which was a good thing and which was a bad thing, and which was a red thing and which was blue, and if he did well on the test then Mishka would be okay but if he did not then she would not be. And he did not do well on the test and Tolik was disappointed. He said, because of this, something bad has happened. And Bucky didn’t know what it was. And then he went back in the hole. And he was alone. And then after a long time Mishka came back in the hole with him. But she had a bandage and one of her legs was gone. She cried, and so did Bucky. He cried.

Then Bucky had to do another test and this time he knew what would happen. And he thought that he would do well on the test and know the answers, but every time, Tolik was disappointed. He didn’t say it, but Bucky could see. And he knew something would happen to Mishka and one of her legs was gone again. She had two legs, only. If Bucky could do better on the test then this wouldn’t happen.

But he couldn’t do better on the test. Every time he thought he could do the answer he didn’t know what the answer was even if it seemed simple because Bucky was stupid and didn’t know what the answer was. And then Mishka had no legs. And her tail was gone. And then her eyes. Then her ears. Then her tongue and all she could do was lie there and cry and make a bad noise. Bucky pet her fur and it was sticky. If he weren't so stupid, this wouldn't have happened.

Mishka cried for a long time. And Bucky cried. Then he pet her sticky fur and put his hand around her neck and he squeezed until she died. And then he held her against his chest with his one hand and lay in the dark in the dirt. After that, he didn’t want to be Bucky anymore.

Later he got a bath, and a towel. And he didn’t go in the hole anymore and he listened to Tolik who was smart. Not like Bucky. He did what Tolik said, and was good. And Steve never came and there was no reason for him to anyway. 

 

Now it is the year 2016 and Bucky is back and so is Steve. They are at Central Park. Bucky had his 99th birthday and it is spring and the flowers are coming up and at the water there are little ducks and Steve has crackers to give the little ducks and their mother, who is brown with stripes and the ducklings are brown and grey and yellow. They are fuzzy and cute. And Bucky wants to hold one in his hand. He would hold them in his left hand and feel that they are fuzzy in his right. He wants to give a duck a cracker like Steve is doing even though there is a sign that says not to, Steve is doing it. And Bucky wants to. But they are outside and someone is watching. Maybe someone is watching. And they will see Bucky give a cracker to a duck. And they will see that he likes the duck. Bucky used to feed the ducks with his little sister Dotty and his Ma sometimes, before Suzie and Becca were born and before he met Steve, when Bucky was little and had his regular body he was born with. If someone sees if Bucky likes a duck something bad might happen. Someone might be waiting to do something bad to the duck, so he keeps his hands in his pockets, even when Steve holds out a cracker for him to feed the ducklings, he keeps his hands in his pockets and looks at the water. After awhile Steve gives all the crackers and he brushes his hands together to get the crumbs off, and he says with his head tilted, “you wanna go?”

Bucky likes to be outside. He likes that it’s warmer out and little ducks are here for him to watch. But something bad will happen to a duck. It will get its beak cut off and its eyes out and cry and that’s why Bucky wants to go home now, to the Tower. 

They go home to the Tower and Bucky goes into his big coat zipped all the way up with the furry hood pulled over and goes on the couch with his knees and his elbows pulled into the coat. All the little ducklings had followed the mama duck back into the water and swam away to where no one could get them. When Mishka was dead, no one could get her anymore.

Tolik had taken Mishka’s body away from Bucky. He'd shaken his head and said, “It’s very sad.”


End file.
